I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I intend to get homeless drunk
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
