just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
