lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
