I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
