My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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