Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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