well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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