i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
