he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
