I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
