i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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