Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
