Dual....:-)
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize