its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
