also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
