some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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