Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
