Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
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