Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
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