i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize