I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize