when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm always down for nudity.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize