so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
