I can text with my tongue
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
