I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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