Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
