six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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