It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
this just has baby written all over it
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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