my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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