Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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