by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
