There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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