God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
