If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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