I'm going to jail i love you
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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