I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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