I should be sponsored by Trojan
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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