the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
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