if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize