i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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