Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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