i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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