Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
