He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize