Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
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I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
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You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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