she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
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