There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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