I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
