If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
