I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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