So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
