My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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