i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
