How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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