so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize
