Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
